Reclaiming my life and self one step and one adventure at a time.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
The Happiest Time....
...of the year! All around me I hear the music. On the radio, in the stores, even from me, humming along. I am not feeling that this is the happiest time of the year. I am not of good cheer. Neither am I sitting alone, weeping. Michael and I (mostly Michael) have decorated the house: lights up outside along the front; the wreath hangs in its accustomed place, the glittering tree is up and loaded with my beautiful collection of ornaments, decades in the making. I have bought gifts. There is special food in fridge and pantry waiting to be served on the big day. I look forward to being with my family but I dread waking up that morning to be alone on the happiest day. No bustle of fixing a special breakfast. No watching Mark open a gift and seeing him smile and then say, "I thought we weren't getting anything expensive!" Only he would think a thirty dollar sweater extravagant. Of course if he gave me a lovely necklace and I said the same thing to him, he'd say, "But that's different." Yes, it's a different time of year for me now.