The Happiest Time....

...of the year!  All around me I hear the music.  On the radio, in the stores, even from me, humming along.  I am not feeling that this is the happiest time of the year.  I am not of good cheer.  Neither am I sitting alone, weeping.  Michael and I (mostly Michael) have decorated the house: lights up outside along the front; the wreath hangs in its accustomed place, the glittering tree is up and loaded with my beautiful collection of ornaments, decades in the making.  I have bought gifts.  There is special food in fridge and pantry waiting to be served on the big day.  I look forward to being with my family but I dread waking up that morning to be alone on the happiest day.  No bustle of fixing a special breakfast.  No watching Mark open a gift and seeing him smile and then say, "I thought we weren't getting anything expensive!"  Only he would think a thirty dollar sweater extravagant.  Of course if he gave me a lovely necklace and I said the same thing to him, he'd say, "But that's different."  Yes, it's a different time of year for me now.