Mark and I have heard most of these things.....and more!
Some Awesome Things To Say To A Cancer Patient
You've lost so much weight. You look fantastic!Thanks for noticing! My doctor says I'm malnourished. Mark called a similar comment "the chemo makeover" as in "wow you look great since you've had chemo!"
You're strong and I know you can beat this.
Are you going to be disappointed in me if I die? Do you have a real, working crystal ball?
I read that kelp/almonds/asparagus have magical anti-cancer properties.
You should definitely eat some, then.
I know what you're going through.
Your grandfather's colostomy bag does not make you an expert on my medical situation. And unless you have stage IV rectal cancer, no you don't.
That reminds me of when my dog/cat/gerbil had a tumor on her leg.
I'm sure that was heartbreaking for you.
God doesn't give us more than we can handle.
Define "handle."
OMG, I have/had cancer too! Let's be best friends.
Please stop weeping on my neck.
I know you don't want to talk about it, but I really need to.
Get a therapist.
Cancer rates go up the less you exercise.
You're right. It's my fault I got cancer.
I am so impressed by how fearless you are.
Actually, I'm scared shitless, but I've gotten really good at hiding it. I hear this one often as "well spouse". Nobody can hear me cry in the shower.
I'm praying for you.
That kind of grosses me out. Not working out, is it?
I feel awful, too! I have such bad allergies this time of year.
You win.
Everything happens for a reason.
I'm beginning to doubt your intelligence. Okay, so why does MY husband have incurable cancer?
I had a friend who died from that same kind of cancer!
Wow, what a coincidence. Fuck you. My favorite!!
And here's one that was actually said to me, "He could have died suddenly in a car accident. At least you have a long time to say goodbye."
Virginia C. McGuire received her first cancer diagnosis when she was ten years old. She has heard everything on this list at least once.
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