I'm a liminal person. That word popped out at me as I was reading Margaret Roach's And I Shall Have Some Peace There. Roach was an executive in the Martha Stewart empire until she left it all to live in rural New York State and work in her garden. She describes how difficult that voluntary transition was for her. She has similar experiences and fears that I have had in my involuntary transition to this new life.
She described herself as a "liminal person", somebody on a threshold or boundary, looking both back and ahead. I feel like that. I'm on the threshold. I look sadly and longingly back at my life with Mark; all those years together of love and creating our family and our home. Ahead is a life without him. What will that be like? Who will I be when I stop lingering on the threshold?