Monday, July 18, 2011
Handicapped? Disabled??
Mark got this back in April. We'd been to see the doctor and I mentioned how difficult it was for him to walk to a building from a far parking lot, toting a heavy laptop bag. He'd been able to attend a weeklong class. Just being out of the house for that many hours, that many days in a row, is tough for him. The doc got him this placard for the car. So, he's officially "disabled" at least as far as parking goes.
The thing for me is, to not think of him nor to treat him as disabled here at home. It bugs him if I want to get up and do something for him. He is out in front right now, watering the plants. I noticed he was wearing his slippers. Then the water wand didn't hook onto the hose correctly. Water sprayed all over, including his feet. I said, "I'll go in and get your garden clogs." He didn't want me to. "No!", he said, "I have to go in anyway." Time for me to back off. It's hard.
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Gina, it is hard. It is good that you recognize his need to do it himself. My son and I talked the other day. He said "Mom, it makes me mad when ***** calls and tells me what bad shape you are in. I know you aren't well, but you are not an invalid. If they keep treating you like you are an invalid, you soon will be." That was exactly my thoughts. If I am not able to do something or don't feel like doing it, I will ask for help. (Not always easy for me), but I am not going to stubbornly do something that is going to make a problem for me. Independence is a hard thing to relinquish. On the other hand, if he weren't sick, he would have probably yelled "Hey Gina, bring me my clogs." I think you are handling a heart rending and difficult situation wonderfully well. Hugs, N-i-N
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